May 3, 2008 at 4:11 pm (Life gets in the way...) (, , , , , )

It’s sad to think just how suspicious we have become these days. I know that many people are out to scam us and that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is, but sometimes I don’t understand how people can be so unbelieving of something as simple as ordinary kindness or consideration.

For example, this afternoon I went shopping in Sainsburys with my lovely hubby. We don’t often shop there, but we sometimes do a “top-up” shop in between our main grocery shopping (which is done as Asda because it’s cheaper and usually has a slightly wider selection of goods). As a result, we don’t have a Nectar Card (it’s basically a credit card with a points system built in – when you shop, you earn points on your spend which can then be spent on other things).

As usual, when we got to the checkout, we were inevitably asked, “Do you have a Nectar Card?” Not having one, I turned to the next person in the queue and said, “We don’t have a Nectar Card, would you like our points?”

Usually, this offer is greeted with a smile and thanks, but on this occasion, the woman behind us eyed us with suspicion. I had to reassure her that we didn’t want anything – we just had no need of the points (as we don’t have the aforementioned card) and didn’t want to see them go to waste. She then very reluctantly produced her Nectar Card as we handed over the cash for our purchases.

Now, as it turns out, we spent about £50 on this occasion as it’s going to be another week before I get to go grocery shopping. This means she’d be getting somewhere around 50 Nectar points – quite a nice little haul. She didn’t even say thank you, but instead continued to eye us with caution as we walked away with our shopping.

Call me cynical, but was it so hard to believe that someone might be so kind as to pass the points to the next person when they have no means of collecting them for themselves? Is it so unusual for people to show a little consideration in this way? Please tell me, because I’d really like to know! Have you ever tried offering your points to someone? Did the person thank you or were they thrown by your generosity? Or has someone offered you their points? What was your reaction?

Personally, I have been offered Nectar Points from someone else’s purchase – I thanked them and explained I didn’t have a card either – the person behind me was very grateful to receive the points from both the people in front of her!

Surely small acts of random kindness aren’t so rare as to cause fear and suspicion in people in general? Or am I wrong?



  1. Sandy said,

    I think some people are just that way. For whatever reason they don’t believe that someone would be nice to them. it is sad really. I remember when I worked in a tourist site, we used to always ask for a Zip code…it was only used to see where our visitors were from since you can’t do much with a zip code…I had a man get real mad at me for asking saying it was an invasion of privacy. I calmly told him that he didn’t have to give us a zip code, and reminded him we can’t do much with a zip code anyway and it was only for demographics. I just think some people are over-paranoid sometimes.

  2. Nici said,

    Kell if I had been standing behind you I would have accepted your nextar points with a big smile and thank you.

    Have no idea why some people act this way….

  3. Michelle said,

    That is odd – I haven’t been offered nectar points, but i have been offered active kids vouchers.. and I said a big thank you.

    Next time, can you somehow get them down to me?! lol

  4. kell1976 said,

    I wish I could, Michelle (incidentally, I have those active kids vouchers, which I WILL send on to you!). You can only collect the nectar points if you have a nectar card – it’s like a credit card with bonuses. Ask about it next time you’re in Sainsbury’s – if you do your main shop there, it could be worth your while getting one – and you get points from various other places too (I think Debenhams is one of them, but I’m hardly ever in there either – LOL!).

  5. Sarah said,

    I can see both sides. I can see myself offering something like that to someone, but I can also see myself becoming suspicious at being offered something like that. LOL! Because of some experiences I’ve had in life, I’m not always trusting of other people, and my boyfriend id downright suspicious of everyone.

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