Under normal circumstances, I pride myself on having quite a decent level of intelligence – a sentiment that is seemingly echoed in what other people tend to think of me. I’ve lived my life striving to learn more and to put my little grey cells to the test on a regular basis – after all, if you don’t use it, you lose it! However, today I fully deserve the title of Grand High Twit of the Idiot Squad and should be made to sit in the corner with a pointy dunce’s cap firmly on my noggin.
And here’s why…
After having last week off work as annual leave, I woke this morning thinking to myself that i could really do with another day off, as I had only about four hours sleep last night and felt dreadfully tired when my alarm clock rand at 5:45am. I even hit the snooze button a couple of times and refused to budge from under the duvet till 6-o-clock. I dragged my semi-conscious carcass out from the warm cocoon and forced myself to shuffle into the kitchen to pour coffee down my throat in an attempt to get basic brain functions started up.
After a breakfast of toast and another cup of coffee, I did my hair, put on my make-up and shrugged on some clothes fit for the office – still peering through the haze of sleepiness. Then I remembered to check that I had my ID badge (without which I’d have to spend the whole day asking other people to open doors for me) and my house keys (without which I’d have to wake Dale on my return home in order to gain access to the flat), wrapped myself up in my winter coat, put on my hat and gloves, removed the gloves in order to work y iPod, put the gloves back on, and left home.
There is no direct bus route between home and work and I am not able to drive, so I walk to work every day – a journey that takes around 25 minutes at a steady pace. On the way, I listened to a chapter of A Room With a View by E. M. Forster on my iPod and readied myself for a day catching up with everything that had piled up in my absence.
On arrival, I swiped my card to clock in and rounded to corner, aiming a cheerful “Good morning!” at my colleagues.
At this point, I realised something was wrong. Everyone was looking at me very strangely. Wendy then asked the question that was obviously on everyone’s lips, “Kell, what are you doing here? Don’t you have a flexi day today?”
Yes, you’ve guessed it. I had forgotten that I had booked an extra day off as I had hours of flexi time available and thought I’d better use some of it up.
Not only that, but almost half of my colleagues were already in the office and had witnessed my act of idiocy. What was I to do?
I did the only thing I could! I wished them all a good morning and announced that I was going back home to read my book!
So, now I am home again. Pass the dunce cap, please – I shall go and sit quietly in the corner.