Here’s the thing – no matter what can possibly go wrong in any given situation, you can bet it will go wrong to me.
Our gas boiler packed up in May, but seeing as how it was heading into summer, we decided to leave things for a bit – after all, we could use the immersion heater for hot water. Actually, we’d ALWAYS had to use the immersion heater for hot water – all we got from the gas boiler was the central heating as, because it was us, things just couldn’t run smoothly.
So, last week we finally decided, what with the colder weather coming on, it was really time we sorted out the problem with the boiler and we contacted Scottish Gas. A very nice man came round last week and explained all the ins and outs of the new combination condensing boilers that are energy efficient and super-effective. We agreed it sounded like an excellent idea and signed up for a payment plan (as the whole set-up was going to cost close to £4,000) and arranged for an engineer to come the following week.
As luck would have it, I had already managed to take this Thursday and Friday off work as we had made plans to go to the Dream Theater concerts in Glasgow and London on those days, but in the end couldn’t go (I still kept the days off though!), so yesterday morning, our engineer showed up at 8:10am.
He beavered away, and I kept out of his hair watching films in the living room as he worked. I offered many cups of tea or coffee, but he was happy with his Irn Bru, so I let him get on with it. He couldn’t finish the work yesterday, as we were not only moving the new boiler to the opposite side of the kitchen from the old one, but the old boiler and the immersion heater both needed to be removed. It was a big job. As a result, last night’s bath involved me boiling the kettle twenty times (which took an hour) and adding a small amount of cold water, so that the resulting bathwater almost came up to my ankles. I comforted myself with thoughts of a leisurely bath the following night once the work was finished…
This morning, as arranged, the engineer returned at 8:00am (no long lie-ins for me on my days off, no sirree!) and he finished the job around lunch time, demonstrating how quickly hot water came out of the kitchen tap (it was steaming in seconds and there was an unlimited supply, as the water heats as you need it – how cool is that?!). I signed off his paperwork and he left. Ten minutes later, I went for a drive with my sister, Leni, who passed her test on Tuesday this week.
This evening, after dinner and watching a couple of episodes of E-Ring, I decided to run the bath. Imagine my dismay when, on turning the hot water tap in the bath, I found… no water coming out of the faucet at all! Not hot water; not cold water; but no water at all!
Of course, I instantly phoned the contact number in our pack and spoke to a very nice man who put me on hold and accidentally cut me off.
I dialled again and spoke to a very nice lady who went through all the details and then informed me that the department I needed was closed for the day and I would have to call in the morning.
So tonight’s bath will involve me filling various receptacles with hot water from the kitchen tap and carting it through to the bathroom, which isn’t exactly ideal.
Once again, karma turns round and bites us on the bottoms. I’m sure I must have been a mass-murdering Nazi fuck-head in a former life – what else could deserve the universe turning on me every single time?